Tile when your heart is aching.

Pat tern/padern/

Noun. A model or design used as a guide.

Verb. A regular intelligible form.

Ok. T.S. Eliot may have won a noble prize but he was wrong about one thing. April is not the cruelest month. February is.  That's why Valentine's Day is in the middle. All the roses, cards and chocolate are a ploy to take your mind off the fact that the month is bleak.

At least it is short.

Speaking of Valentines...One of the most recognizable patterns in the world is a heartbeat.  The same is true of brain waves.  So what happens when these two things seem to short-circuit?   Can something as simple as a cut piece of plastic hold the answer to resetting a heart to happiness and a brain to hope? And are the things that happen to us random luck or a pattern that is part of a larger story?

This is the story of my winter of discontent and how a stencil guided me back.

PART ONE: THINGS UNRAVEL.

In our business, February is the slowest month. The holiday rush for projects is over but finishers will often take a class in January to get the year started. This winter was particularly tough for studios given the shift in design trends. Ours was no exception.  I scrambled to get a class schedule together with more diversity and on-trend samples while working on a face lift for the studio. We held an open house for local finishers, designers, and potential clients.  And it paid off.! January was good-better then expected-which made February even more disappointing. 

Now Bruce still comes in and helps me with accounts.  I don't know which is more stressful: Watching him get sick while working or not knowing what else to do to make things better?  My brain is out of ideas. 

In the end I sent him to California to visit his family and enjoy some warm weather. Also I wanted him to avoid this:

As I noted before, my sweet husband used his Uber money to hire the crew that worked on our last house to help me. Every room in the "new" house looked like this...

and this.......

and this.......

At least Bridget, Jack and Murray seem enthusiastic.  I moved into the only room not torn apart, a guest room, with our  3 dogs....for 2 weeks. I think this is the 4th time since moving in that things have been put away and then packed up again. It's like moving every 3 months!

The house is covered in plastic and dust. I'm working in the rooms opposite of the painters to get stuff set-up before Bruce returns.  And when I finally think I'm getting things done....

I realize that I'm not dealing with the Top Brass. 

This happened when I started painting the walls...

There are specific primers that go over removed wallpaper. Then you let the mud dry well before sanding. After sanding you WIPE OFF THE DRYWALL DUST before priming again.  Every time I rolled my paint which is a quality Benjamin Moore, the walls bubble and then peel.  What is worse? The crew does not fix the problem or reimburse us anything for the poor job. All I can think about is Bruce working hard to pay these bozos!

I can tell that he is becoming tired even while he pushes ahead these past few months.  But right now, Bruce is in California riding go-karts and ultra-lights. He is at a beautiful wedding and viewing a private car collection.  This should make me happy. I wish I could say that I'm bigger then this. Braver then this. But I'm broken.  I throw my trowel every time the paint peels. The dogs hide in their kennel.  I sit on the top of the stairs and cry with my shoulders hunched over. 

I call 2 other contractors to help me on projects. One never sends me a bid. The other one never even shows up.  How will I pull this house together? How will I pull myself together?

While I'm trying to figure out how to save my husband, my business and my home, my body is also done.  I can't figure out how to start running again. My legs feel like lead. Something that I used to enjoy just seems like one more thing I need to fix. What happened to my mojo? All I want is to wake up happy and feel optimistic.

So I do what thousands of the unhappy and unhinged do each year. I go to Florida.

PART TWO: LET THE SUNSHINE IN.

When you are depressed find the friend that makes a good breakfast and serves good champagne. For us that is Mr & Mrs. Smith.

Not them.

Way more fabulous.

Our oldest friends welcome us to their home.  Every morning Burks makes a yummy breakfast with a Bloody Mary.

Kim has coffee and lively conversation ready. My shoulders that are rubbing against my ears begin to relax.  Our trip to Florida is not only social. I signed up for the Gasparilla Half Marathon before things started to fall apart. Here I am about to run a competitive race without much training. And I have to be at the start before dawn.

What was I thinking?  How sweet that Bruce drove me to the race at the un-holy hour of  5am.

My brain is a jumble as I start.  Running in the dark as I'm going over every thing that is wrong in my life the sun starts to come up.  It hits the ocean water just right and I take in the sparkle.  I can really see the people around me now all trying to accomplish something. There is an elderly man bent so far over that he can't look straight. And a woman with a shirt dedicated to someone she loved and lost.

 I start thinking how Bruce is here-not just at the race but in my life. I have these great friends sharing their hospitality.  It reminds me how much my friends at home have helped me.  Someone says, "looking good" as we pass mile 10.  And I smile because for the first time in months I really believe it. 

The weather is beautiful as I finish in 2 hours. Not a PR but a respectable time.  More importantly, my body reminded me that it wasn't giving up. It knew the pattern. Now my brain needed to get on board and let the sunshine in.  I can hardly walk but I'm happy to enjoy brunch with Bruce and the Smiths on this beautiful day.

After we get home, I'm sitting by the Smith's pool checking emails. And I see this....

Royal Design Studio is having a contest to name a new tile stencil.  The tile is inspired by vintage Spanish 1920's design.  For some reason this resonates with me even thought it seems totally unrelated to my current state.

 For a creative person, I am a literal thinker. So I google Spanish Homes in the 1920's.  This comes up....

El Marisol, a mansion built in Palm Springs...Florida. It reminds me of the homes I ran by earlier in the day. The one's I passed in the morning sunshine. The name comes from Mary, Our lady of Solitude. This seems appropriate. Running is a solitary sport even when you are in a race. And what I've been going through lately makes me feel alone.

Marisol. It is also associated with two Spanish words mar y sol. Sea and Sun.  Both things with rhythmic soothing patterns. Things I've enjoyed on my Florida break. I submit my name to the contest, finish my beer and relax. Even if I don't win, for the first time in months I don't feel like I'm losing.

PART THREE: ALL BECOMES CLEAR

I win!  I am unreasonable happy when I get the email from Royal Design Studio. I start researching Spanish tile. While looking at the patterns it becomes clear to me where and how to use the style in our own home. Suddenly the disaster that I call the kitchen doesn't seem so unsolvable.

My Marisol Damask Tile Pattern with stencil topper.

The first colorway I try is OK but not quite right. I decide to integrate my Rockport Grey paint color into the pattern and  the Rapid Rust that I love. Then somehow it all comes together. It is bold and cheerful. The palette pulls together the room.

I am feeling truly inspired-not the fake "I'm going to act like I'm with it to be inspiring" for my blog, Facebook or Instagram followers.  But the deep knowing in your heart and brain that you are breaking through the block that is holding you down.  That feeling of not only anticipating the finished project but enjoying the process.

And when it is done, I knew what to paint my cabinets and how to fix the awful pantry doors. I could finally put away things that were in storage since July 2015.  The clutter in other parts of the house is now gone.

Bruce tells me he loves it and I can see him relaxing as we enjoy dinner together. My parents visit and say it's so much brighter which is funny since the walls before were much lighter. Our new neighbors come in and gush, "That looks like something in a magazine."

And me?  I go in early every morning to make coffee at my new station and feed the dogs.  I look at my tile wall and smile.  It makes me feel happy. It reminds me how I can create beautiful things. It encouraged me to finish other projects in the house. My creativity is sparked at the studio again.

Things are starting to look like home. Like us. I understand when you have chaos you need to find order.  Even when it doesn't seem like it - there is a design to it all.

I turned a corner after February.  My attitude shifted.  I feel more optimistic. Business has improved. I started running again. Now, I will confess that I still worry about the future. But I look at my wall and know I am capable of pulling it together- of pulling myself together. I will need that reminder in the future but for now I am secure in understanding it is possible.

Yes it was just a simple contest. Yes, it is just a piece of pretty plastic. And Yes, it is just a stencil-like the hundreds of stencils I've used in the past.

But this time. It was the pattern of my life.

The Year of Living Resourcefully

Our 2015 pretty much started off like a Tolstoy novel. Major illness. Moving. Assuming responsibility for our business. Economic shifts in our profession. 2015 could have been the worst year in our lives.

But it wasn't.

While I've had my dark days, I discovered that it's impossible to be an Anna Karenina when in your heart-you're a Bridget Jones!

Given where we ended 2014-2015 has basically been a miracle. This is why I find a reason to smile every day: 

As we start this Bright and Shiny New Year, it's time to select JUST ONE WORD.  Like many of you, I'm one of those people who stopped trying to come up with resolutions years ago. Instead you select ONE WORD that will guide you.  It's something that sums up your hopes of who you want to be and how you want to live.

Usually I'm pretty quick in deciding my word. For 2015, it was FOCUS. Which turned out to be prophetic since it took all my attention to keep our lives moving ahead.

But this December I struggled.  Nothing seemed to fit. Joy? Happiness? Grateful? All are wonderful but these are feelings integrated into my life. I need something that will inspire me to face new challenges and goals.

I tried writing a few down-all clunkers.  So I wadded up the paper and started logging photos for my 2016 blog posts. Now, I've been so busy in this time of transition that I have neglected my blog. But I have been photographing stories: things I've done to our new home, budget challenges, learning how to be self-sufficient, changes to the business, consulting on projects, and ideas for samples and classes.

I went through 264 pictures from our move in July 2015 to today, excitedly getting ready to re-launch my blog when we re-launch our new Surfaces website.  I reviewed my new business plan to expand services to attract new markets.

I talked with Bruce and my sister about my plans for the spring to build a garden and install rain barrels. My hopes to improve my cooking ability and teaching myself about distance learning. Watching videos so I could redo our basement.

And there it was. Right in front of me. FOCUS may have been my word last year but the action I found in 2015 was RESOURCEFULNESS.

RESOURCEFULNESS- The ability to creatively cope with difficulties. Finding ways to skillfully and promptly deal with new situations. Capable of devising ways to solve problems.

Perfect!

2016-My year of RESOURCEFULNESS! Let's see where this takes us!

Wreck it Rebecca and the 5 P's

That sounds like the movie of a washed up aging singer!

Wait, that's been done.

 

 

 



Well, it came down to the wire!

Gandalf the Grey and I found a house about one week before we went on vacation. I saw the listing on a Thursday night. Gandalf went to visit the house. I went by the same night after class. And that was that!

It is oddly like our old home-just smaller.  And just to make me feel right at home it has: popcorn ceilings, smelly flooring, odd room layout, wallpaper, phantom flushing toilets and bad lighting.

I finally figured out why past generations stayed married so long-the lighting was so bad they couldn't see each other day to day! Looks like I landed another Fixer Upper.

But there are a lot of things I like.  The yard is fenced (happy dogs) with beautiful oak trees.  The rooms are a nice size. A smaller home is easier and less expensive to up-date. Most importantly, I feel no pressure for a "prestige" home. This can be the funky quirky home that is probably the most like us. The Dude and I are both a little bohemian in nature.

Luckily, I did not have time to think about such things before the closing. Jeremiah Johnson and I had a date in Canada.

 After a fun few days in Vancouver, I went on a cruise ship with Steve Zissou.  The Life Aquatic indeed.

We went to Alaska.  Here I am with Obi Wan Kenobi at a glacier!

And then on a train to Denali my husband, Bruce beard-less Hairless Potter, suddenly decided to show-up! Bummer. I was enjoying dating Bearded Legends of the Cinema. And I never made it to Rooster Cogburn! 

If you follow my Facebook or Instagram posts then you know we had a great time and Bruce was doing really well. Until the last day when it all caught up with us and we became sick.

 Moving 4 days after a two week vacation and when you are sick is not just exhausting- It is awful. I swear I perspired out my illness loading The Pod. It was like a Native American Sweat Lodge. I think I saw my Spirit Animal!

Thanks to my sister Sally and my great friends Sue and Jeanette (my traveling/class wolf pack), we got everything dumped moved in the house. And I found time to run Rock the Crossroads.  Unpack boxes or run in 103 heat index? Hmmm..

Anything to deflect unpacking.  It must have been very hot for me to wrap my head like that!

But my true nature can't stand waiting. If my spirit animal is Grey Goose then my alter ego is Wreck It Rebecca.  Like her:

but with a sledgehammer

 

We were in the house less then 12 hours and already a wall is gone!  This is the interior wall with the creepy triple glass window:

 

 

This non-loading bearing wall chopped the space and made it look like which of the following?

 

A) A doctor's waiting room

 

B) A workout facility

 

C) A police interrogation room

 

None of those choices fit my design plan.  Our buddy, Bailey, was feeling the need to tear things up and the wall came down!

 

So much better! Now I can actually place furniture and create a space with two areas-one for TV and one for relaxing by the fire.  But it will have to wait before it gets Wrecktified because I did learn a few things from re-doing 4 house (this is our 5th).

 

1. Purge. If you don't love it or absolutely need it, set it free! Everything we are keeping has either a purpose or a special meaning. The rest  went to a good loving home, the garage sale pile or the dumpster.  It is very freeing to get rid of clutter!

 

2.  Prioritize what HAS to be done.  There are a lot of fun decorative projects to up-date this house that I would like to begin with but our number one problem is storage. Going to a home less then half the size is a challenge with closets being a fraction of what we had before (first world problem I know). The other issue is flooring. There is 30 year plus carpet everywhere except in the kitchen which is lovely sheet vinyl. The carpet upstairs smells. Based on the windowsill scratches in that room.....

 

3.  Plan. Create a plan with colors, fabric, and finishes. Research the costs and sourcing of materials. Decide on one or two inspiration pieces. For me, I go by the art that we like to place in a room. Next I selected the fabric (drapes, pillows, linens, and upholstery). Then hard surfaces like flooring, counters, and cabinets. Last is the paint and faux finishes.  Buy samples of everything that you can and test it in the room with various lighting throughout the day. Did I say this house is North facing?  It is and it is dark. Many colors go very purple in the rooms.

 

Every paint color I have sampled is hideous in this house. 

 And these are just the start. Pretty soon the walls will be painted patchwork!

 

4. Pyramid. Do the room right the first time and work from the basic design elements up.  I am great at starting a project and then starting another one before finishing the first. This time I am finishing the foundation of a room before moving to the next. This means taking off the popcorn, replacing the floors and base painting before the decorative (fun) stuff. 

 

5. Play. Throw in 1-2 fun small projects to keep you motivated. For me this was our front porch.

 

 

It took me less then a few hours to source a fun outdoor rug and pillows. From those colors, I selected pots and flowers. Moved some inside furniture out and added some little art pieces. Now my neighbors will know what type of person has invaded their neighborhood! I've actually had several people compliment the color and a few who are curious about what I am doing "inside."

 

Back to Prioritize. We needed 2 things right away. As I mentioned the closets needed to be finished. Currently our clothes are either in boxes, suitcases, or thrown on furniture.  The other thing is a table.  Both my dining and kitchen tables stayed at the other house.

 

This is my $35 solid oak find. It had already been sanded. And at 41" across it is perfect for our kitchen.

 

I gave it a good cleaning and painted it with my opaque stain, Duck Egg Blue. This is a color I make from Faux Effects Cabinet products.

It glides on like an oil and as it dries, I just wipe back with cheesecloth to flatten my brushstrokes and reveal areas of the base wood. An added bonus of this mix, the color pops hints of green, turquoise and marine blue. It looks like 3 subtle shades.  I glazed it with a black and van dyke brown stain mix and tipped it in a black with pearl concentrate mix.

I sprayed Aquaguard Gloss and the C500 Satin with my HVLP to topcoat.

And this beauty which took me about 2 hours to complete made it into our new home.  The chairs were from a previous project and are finished in a warm taupe/silver with a turquoise glaze highlight.

My cowhide rug which has made the cut in 3 homes and a favorite piece of Bruce's pottery completes the look!

This was the Master Closet.  A few poles and a metal piece that was kind of cool but limited the storage. First I purged our clothes. 

Next I prioritized. Bruce has a large dresser in the bedroom but my folding storage is limited.  He has a lot of hanging things (mostly Hawaiian shirts) and several pairs of pants. I need a place for my painter's whites and my workout/running clothes. And we both have a few pairs of shoes we keep in  rotation.

 

I decided that meeting our needs meant this is a gut job so I ripped everything out! My Pyramid:

Remove currently fixtures. Pull out carpet. Pop-off the molding and label.  Scrape popcorn. Mud and sand areas. Paint. Install flooring. Replace molding. Attach fixtures. Deck it out.

 

 

At this point, I have taped and mudded where I pulled out the closet supports (and bits of the wall).

 

 

Popcorn gone!  Get a bug sprayer and fill it with warm water. Then really pump the sprayer and dowse the ceiling. It should be raining on your head. Use a large putty blade and scrape it off. It is not hard-just really messy.  Make sure you wipe the ceiling down with water to get all the dust.

 

The ceilings were in OK shape. I decided to prime and then texture the walls and the ceiling with leftover Plastertex. When the plaster was dry, we painted. The walls are Faux Effects Neutral White and the ceiling is Benjamin Moore Guilford Green.

I used Luxury Vinyl Planks that look like wood for the floor. They worked great and even feel like hand-scrapped wood. An affordable and durable solution!

Now the fun part. I went to IKEA and pulled a brochure on storage systems which has lots of ideas. Then I went to the Algot site where there are more configurations.  I found one that matched my measurements and got to work on some graph paper.  It took me two hours to design my plan and write out the pieces I would need.

It was time well spent.  I purchased everything for under $300 including 6 wire pull-out baskets, 6 shoe racks, 6 pants hangers, 8 shelves, 2 -3 hooks and 3 side hooks.

Time to Play.  I bought the fun poster at IKEA that I applied to the attic access door. Oh yeah, I also got the crumpled paper light shade as well.

A refinished cabinet with rippled glass provides medicine chest and linen storage. The carpet was in the entry of our old home.  Add some pictures and my bobble heads-a cute functioning closet. To save space and because we like it so much, I removed the door.

With this one under my belt, I tackled the dreary larger walk-thru closet in the basement.

This one had the shelving built into the stucco walls. Since my priority here is hanging and storing garments out of season I left the fixtures in place. I did take off the popcorn, the molding, and the gross carpet from the concrete floor. I batched up a bunch of old plasters and re-stuccoed the walls so they were not so rough.



A concrete floor takes more work. I had to level it, sand it, and apply a primer before I installed the Vinyl "wood' planks. A fresh palette in shades of celery, black and white really make the room fun. I switched out the old bulbs for Edison ones and covered them with cages from Lowe's.

 

There is the recycled metal shelving from the upstairs closet. The polka rug and garment bags also with dots are from IKEA. Someone came to shop today and said "have you gained weight?" I may need to rethink those $1 cinnamon rolls!

 

Bruce had an old metal cabinet that I recovered in contact paper. I placed IKEA fabric bins in them for sweater storage. Now I am really hungry thinking about those cinnamon rolls!

 

Play time! A circle mirror, the silver croc, a sweet daisy picture and a cartoon of us, make the space look more like a room!

Wreck It Rebecca! Onward and upward to the next project!

 

PS....I think I found another house to love......